LIFE ON THE INSIDE

Part X: Stop the World. I Want to Get Off

Susan McCorkindale

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Photo by Loegunn Lai on Unsplash

As I write this, it’s October 16, 2023, nine days since I sat glued to the news and sobbing, watching as Hamas surprised and savagely killed hundreds of young people at a dance in Israel. I don’t like to think about those videos or any of the others I’ve watched over the last almost ten days. I don’t like to think about the news reports I’ve read about babies ripped from the arms of their mothers, parents who used their bodies to protect their children from being killed, and entire families who were obliterated in a matter of seconds.

I don’t like to think about those things.

But I do think about them. A lot.

And as I’ve thought about the horrors that have transpired, I’ve considered this series of mine. This space where I bitch, moan, complain, question my worthiness as a mom. This little spot in the universe where I share my shit, my fears for my son, my frustrations. Where I talk about my desire to duct tape my kid’s mouth to stop him from talking and talking and talking. Where I announce my idea to launch a podcast just to keep from losing my mind. Where I cry about the crappy hand God’s dealt my boy.

Shame on you, Susan.

How about the hand God’s dealt to all those Israeli moms and dads and their boys, girls, parents, friends, neighbors?

You see where I’m at.

I hope that Life On The Inside will ultimately help other parents and maybe even spark change in the way our legal system handles those with autism and developmental disabilities. I also hope it makes you laugh your ass off. But right now, I need to take a break. In light of all that’s going on, it feels crass to continue.

At some point, that will change. I’m only human, after all. I’ll remember why I started this series and why it’s important I continue writing it.

So, don’t worry. I’ll be back.

Particularly because I know you’re dying to know what it cost me to get my kid’s car out of impound after two weeks. And no, they wouldn’t take a check.

This piece is part of a series called “Life On The Inside.”

You can find the entire series here on Medium and on Substack.

If you’d like to check out my other work, I invite you to visit my Linktr.ee for my books, TED Talk, and copywriting portfolio.

And finally, a huge thank you to all of you. Your notes texts and messages mean the world to me. Thank you so much for joining me on this journey.

Susan xo

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